Disclaimer: I've been pretty lax on this blog. Between school and family life, I'd put blogging on the backburner for a while-just some occasional rundowns of what we've been doing. I'll try to do a little more these last 3 weeks.
I was a wreck Wednesday night. I was emotional about Jodie and the kids leaving the next day and already starting to feel lonely. It didn't help that there was still lots of packing and cleaning that I needed to do to get them ready to go at 6:30 in the morning. And I was feeling stressed about the pressure of school: projects, grades, tests to study for, etc.
Then Thursday morning I was walking to class with my classmate Alex. He said "I keep reminding myself I'm here to learn, not for the grades." That was just what I needed to hear. But I must have needed to hear it more than once, because 3 more times over the next 27 hours I heard something similar. "You never lose by learing" was said in chapel; "Don't base your self-esteem on this assignment" came on the paper with the test instructions; "Even if you don't do well on this test, it doesn't mean you won't be a good field linguist. Sometimes persistence is the most important quality of a linguist" was offered as encouragement before a test.
But then I did well on the two tests I had yesterday. And I started to feel like I was good again- that these 2 A's meant I was a good student, Christian, father, and husband. I needed to hear some of those messages again. This time as a kick in the pants, not a pat on the back. "I'm here for the learning, not the grades"; Don't base your self-esteem on this assignment". This morning we sang "Oh Lord, You're Beautiful" in worship & prayer service. And I heard the lyrics to the 2nd verse that I'm not sure I'd ever noticed before- And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown. For my reward is giving glory to you..
It's so cool seeing the different ways God can tell us the the things we need to hear.
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